"Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die"
That quote about sums up how toxic it is to not forgive someone. You may be right about whatever the debt, offense, or pain is, but that doesn't mean it's good for you. Have you considered how it's affected you? No it's not your fault, but what it is doing to you is your responsibility.
Forgiving someone for something they said, did, or didn't do is confusing. Do they have to say sorry first? Is forgiving someone agreeing with what they did? Does forgiving the person mean you are reconciled? Why is it that saying the words"I forgive you" doesn't guarantee we don't hurt?
Forgiveness is a heart matter between you and God first. We forgive because the Father forgave us. To forgive means to let the debt go. It means that we don't expect or hold the other person to pay back anything that we assume will make things even. You can let the debt go without giving your stamp of approval on what they did. You can let the debt go, but it takes both parties for reconciliation to happen. Just because you forgave someone, doesn't mean you can trust them. Hopefully that should make you feel a little bit better...just a little bit.
Only God can fix/heal what someone else broke/hurt. We naturally assume that the person that hurt us can fix us...but it's a lie. See God made you. Because He created your heart, only He can truly fix it. How can someone ever make amends for pain inflicted? Are they that powerful? And yet we wait, we expect, we DEMAND they fix it.
We waste years calling for a lawyer when we should be calling an ambulance. God wants to heal your pain...call the one who is able!